Is Your Parenting Style Raising Monster Kids?

Psychologist might have fooled us! Richard Bromfield basically warns in his article Indulging our kids, ourselves spoiled. You might wonder if your parenting style is raising monster kids? Take the quiz here

A lot of us have been advised to feed our children’s esteem by making them feel great in everything that they try and do. This then extended to advising parents to reward their every little step. And to answer their every question and also reward and celebrate their every little curiosity. Make children feel good about themselves and reward every attempt with affirmations like –

“What a great job you did getting dressed.”

“Great job even though you come last in your race.”

“What a great job you did chewing and swallowing your three candy bars!”

However, could it all have been too much and the source of the problem of today’s “popcorn” generation? This excessive praise might have robbed our children of some of the opportunities to grow that we had as kids. It might be critical to assess how your parenting style is positively or negatively affecting your child.

How did we learn to wait? We learned patience because our parents kept us waiting.

How did we learn to appreciate what we got? We learned to have thanks because we did not get so much.

Do you Have Monster Kids In The Making; thanks to your Parenting Style?

This generation is an on-demand generation. They want to order a new pair of shoes, they want it now. What about the newly released phone? they line up for it. Want to order coffee from Starbucks? they use the app to order and pick it up without waiting.

This current generation of parents and their children have the relentless assault of advertising and social media pressuring them to keep up with the Jones. This pressure causes them to keep going further and wanting more. According to the Founder of Money Matters with Nimi, “do not keep up with the Joneses, they are broke”. – Nimi Akinkugbe

Today’s parents are not only tempted to overindulge their children, but they are also equally tempted to overindulge themselves. All of this plays a part in the type of children you raise and equally important is the parenting styles you deploy.

So ask yourself, is your Parenting style raising monster kids?

Are Parents Entitled?

As mothers and fathers lament their children’s entitled attitudes, wondering perhaps where it comes from, they themselves live entitled lifestyles. They buy cars on lease once they come out, upgrade their phones when a new one comes out, and then hand off the “older” version to their waiting young child. What we are teaching them is to be materialistic and to want more, more, more and now, now, now. By responding to the stimuli of the constant barrage of new trends, new products and new shiny toys, we are encouraging our kids to do the same.

Instant gratification is the mantra! and this kills delayed gratification and patience. You know the saying, your children learn from what you do, not what you say.

What can parents do?

Start by looking into the parenting mirror and reassess your home life. It is never too late to grow less indulgent. We can start by giving our children fewer things, expecting more of them and sharing our values. Remember that you are the parent and it would be good for your child to hear no sometimes, to have limits and to be expected to obey their parents.

As parents do not overprotect them from life’s inevitable frustrations and limitations. This is one aspect of your parenting style, that can unintentionally lead to raising monster kids. After all, only by facing and mastering such experiences do children grow confident and resilient. Lastly, as parents watch the examples that you set and spend time explaining your values to them. This generation is a “Why” generation who thrive on explanations.

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As parents, our core mission is to raise independent adults who have the skills and resources to survive apart from and without us.

Just as T’Chaka, the father of the Black Panther told his son, a father has failed if his child(ren) cannot fend for himself or herself when the parent is gone from this world.

Do You Know Your Parenting Style? Take the Quiz to know your Parenting Style