Understanding how to win a battle strategically gives a woman the advantage in tackling any situation she might face. A woman is not built for confrontation rather, she is built for tact. It is not wise to go head on with your opponent or the person you are facing, especially if the person is your husband.
Model for Winning
Using Esther as our inspiration we can learn a lot from how she dealt with issue she was facing. Her issue was quite a big one, when you consider that the lives of her people, the jews, was at stake. This was not a small matter of misunderstanding between herself and her husband. However we can learn a lot from how she tackled her problems strategically and wisely.
- Esther’s first act was spiritual. She embarked on a fast. She did not respond in a hurry, in a huff or in annoyance and panic. Rather she took her time to call a fast and to include people to join her on the fast. If you are dealing with a big matter, face it spiritually to increase and assure your chances of resolution.“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do”. (Esther 4:16).
- After finishing her fast, she took the time to look the part. She got dressed nicely to meet the king when she was done with her fasting period. That means she still took the time to compose herself and did not rush about after believing she had gotten a spiritual release to tackle the issue. (Esther 5:1)
- Men are tough when you come against them head on. When God made man he created us as a helpmate meant to help get your husbands’ work done. She asked the king if it pleased him and offered him a banquet. She was a skilled woman, she did not act hastily rather she appealed to her husbands senses. She knew that he liked banquets and used it to relax him (or to entice) him before she dealt with the issue. “What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you.” (Esther 5:4)
- Wisdom involves self control. She invited Haman, her biggest enemy to the banquet. Wisdom is getting people to see why the thing you are advising is a good option.When you are clear headed with your eye on the goal, like Esther you know that you might have to stoop to conquer. She skillfully did not give her enemy Haman any idea of what was coming. She invited him to the banquet and made him feel special and let his guard down even as her husband the king, was eager to give her what she wanted. And what is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted.” (Esther 5:6)
- When she was ready to make her request known, to convince the king to change the decree he had already put in place. She gave him the apparent opportunity to decide if he wants to take the action or not. She did not refer to all the nice things she had just done for him aka the banquet. She simply asked ever so pleasantly if it pleased him. Even after he had promised her that he was ready to do what she wanted, she did not run ahead and start making rash demands. She said “If it please the king, and if I have found favor with him, and if he thinks it is right, and if I am pleasing to him, let there be a decree that reverses the orders of Haman” (Esther 8:5)
What can we learn from all this? be prayerful, be full of wisdom and take the time to build your case. Do not be in a hurry to make your demands, do not be threatening rather skillfully help him to see things your way. Throwing threats around and making demands might not be the most effective way of getting him to see things your way. The way Esther tackled this situation ultimately saved her people and rather Haman fell into the trap he had setup for Mordecai and the Jews.
May we have the wisdom of Esther in matters!
photo source: ldawkins
