Today, we address the interesting style of coaching as a parent. Perhaps you have ever wondered how parenting can be like coaching?
The need for parents to deploy coaching tools when raising their children is a critical part of becoming an intentional parent. This is because each child deserves to be guided and nurtured and taught how to make the right decisions. I believe that every child has a talent and a gift that is specific to them.
The job of a parent, as a coach, is to help that child improve on that talent, so as to be better persons in the society at large.
John Whitmore described such coaching as:
“unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them learn rather than only teaching them”
It is important to understand, that being a coach to your children does not mean you have to get certified as a life coach or study courses online for this purpose. Though these are worthy goals themselves. However, you have to borrow a leaf from the pages of professional coaches.
3 important methods coaches use in coaching:
- Setting meaningful and realistic goals.
- Identify specific behaviours or steps to achieve the set goals.
- Clarify milestones and measures of success.
How can all these be incorporated into coaching as a parent?
Before coaches start coaching a new client, they identify the person’s goals, interests, strengths, and weaknesses. There are certain things parents need to ensure are in place to create an enabling environment to coach their children.
The same principle should apply to a parent who wants to be a coach to their children. Identify their talents, and then you can:
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Set goals together
Perhaps a child wants to bag the first prize in a spelling bee. As a coach, the parent has identified and understood that the child has a passion for articulating words, which is great. Then, set the benchmark. “We need to cover 1,000 words in five days.” This would help the child set sight on what needs to be achieved. In addition to clear goals, the actions can easily be measured to ensure progress.
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Design the actions and steps needed to achieve the goals
To help the child use that talent to win the spelling bee, get a list of words that could be asked in the spelling bee and allocate a certain number of words for each day. The parent could teach the child how to use the internet, and study digitally. An intentional parent always thinks about the lesson that your child is learning. Like an actual coach, a parent needs to keep an eye on the goal and then help their child to learn how to make the right decisions and stay consistent.
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Measure success!
“You did well, you’ve learned 1,005 words. Well-done”
Let them know if they have reached the set goals or not.
To be an effective parent, parents must have a good relationship with their children. A good relationship is built by spending quality time together, communicating, and practicing active listening.
If the parent does not create an enabling environment for the children to talk to them and share all that bothers them, the children will grow apart from the parent.
Coaching as a parent applies not only to helping them reach some goals. It also involves assisting them to make certain decisions.
Benefits of Coaching as Parents
There are numerous benefits of being a parent who thinks of their role as a coach. The more you spend time with your children and get to know their interests, the better equipped you are to be a true coach, and to nurture them.
You can also expose your children to those in your network, friends, and contacts who can help them. Add these coaching methods to your tool kit when it comes to being an intentional parent. Coaching skills can be invaluable for parents in helping their children reach their full potential.
Here are some tips on how parents can develop and apply coaching skills in their parenting approach
1. Active listening:
Practice active listening by giving your child your undivided attention when speaking to you. Maintain eye contact, use open body language, and ask clarifying questions better to understand their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.
2. Empathy and understanding:
Show empathy towards your child’s experiences and emotions. Try to understand their point of view and validate their feelings. This helps create a supportive and trusting environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves.
3. Encourage independence:
Foster independence by allowing your child to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Offer guidance and support, but also give them the space to learn from their mistakes. This helps develop their problem-solving skills and builds self-confidence.
4. Set goals together:
Please encourage your child to set goals for themselves, both short-term and long-term. Help them break down bigger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Regularly revisit their goals, discuss progress, and provide constructive feedback. This teaches them the importance of goal-setting and self-motivation.
5. Ask powerful questions:
Use open-ended questions to stimulate critical thinking and reflection. Instead of providing answers, please encourage your child to explore different perspectives and develop their solutions. This helps develop their problem-solving skills and promotes independent thinking.
6. Provide constructive feedback:
When giving feedback, focus on specific behaviors or actions rather than personal traits. Be specific, objective, and productive in your feedback. Highlight their strengths and areas for improvement, and encourage them to learn from successes and failures.
7. Nurture a growth mindset:
Foster a growth mindset in your child by emphasizing the value of effort, perseverance, and learning from challenges. Encourage them to embrace failures as growth opportunities and see setbacks as temporary obstacles. This mindset helps develop resilience and a love for learning.
8. Celebrate achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Recognize their efforts and progress along the way. Celebrating achievements boosts their self-esteem and motivates them to continue striving for success.
9. Be a role model:
Lead by example and demonstrate the qualities and behaviors you want to instill in your child. Show perseverance, resilience, and a growth mindset in your pursuits. Your actions speak louder than words, and children often learn best by observing and imitating their parents.
Remember, coaching skills in parenting are about supporting and guiding your child to discover their strengths, passions, and potential. By fostering a coaching approach, you can empower your child to become self-reliant, confident, and motivated.
To be an effective parent, it is essential that parents have a good relationship with their children. A good relationship is built from spending quality time together, communicating, and practicing active listening Click To Tweet
