“Fireproof” is a movie about a couple struggling with marital challenges, almost losing their marriage and the journey that led them to eventually saving their marriage. The movie was simply scripted, not too much drama and very believable so you could easily relate.
Some of the patterns the couple suffered were
- Lack of appreciation and taking their spouse for granted
- Lack of communication
- They stopped being nice to each other and actually became mean to each other as a defence mechanism
- No intimacy and affection shared
- Lack of consideration e.g. she didn’t leave dinner for him. He didn’t seem to care about her sick parents
- Lots of resentment that had built up
- They were just co-existing, they were living separate lives and just happened to be sharing a roof.
- Looking outside for attention, she started getting and enjoying attention from a male co-worker and on the other hand her husband was also actively seeking sexual attention from outside.
The long term effect of all these negatives took a massive toll on their marriage and they were soon heading for the door threatening to call it quits. They were both frustrated and could only see themselves as the victim without any real energy being spent talking about their problems or trying to improve their marriage. Watching the movie you wondered why they were missing the fact that they were both hurting each other!
She also had negative friends and co-workers who were encouraging her to leave her husband. He was blessed with a good friend who gave good advise, but he was so consumed with the idea that his wife alone was the problem that all the advise fell on deaf ears.
The question is, is this really different in reality? Time, Life, demands of the job, paying bills, caring for children, caring for elderly parents, taking your partner for granted and feeling too comfortable puts pressure on a marriage. If both people don’t put the required energy or determination into it, the marriage falls to the bottom of the list of priorities and suddenly all you see is the ugly side of your spouse. You spend so much more time being on your best behaviour to everyone else and forget to do the same for your spouse.
The tools and steps they eventually took to save their marriage in reality are not incredibly hard, it just took awareness and selflessness to be able to apply them to their marriage. Being considerate, doing nice things for each other, complimenting each other, showing they care, reaffirming their love daily….Easy right???
It might be worth it for everyone to get a copy of the movie to see what can happen to a marriage devoid of the necessary ingredients. You can also pick up a copy of the Love Dare and even if your marriage is not in trouble you can never be too kind and loving towards your spouse.
So I don’t spoil the entire movie for everyone (I have tried not to)…why not pick up a copy and watch the movie. Lets always remember our children pick up their first blueprint of what a marriage is to be like from their parents.