9 Tips on How to Treat your Nanny

Many families employ a nanny to support the family. We would like to share 9 tips on how to treat your nanny to get the best out of the relationship. If your family has gone through a long list of nannies. It can be really frustrating as a parent for you to keep changing nannies and disappointing for your children because they have to break and form new bonds constantly.

Read below some tips when hiring and employing a nanny


A Confused job description

No one likes to be surprised by an extra set of work every day at the office and the same thing will also happen with a nanny. If you hire your nanny for childcare then you must let this be her main work. It is absolutely fine to ask a nanny to do other housekeeping work, but the focus of her work should be childcare. If you are looking for a complete service of maid or house help then you should rather hire one.

Lots of homes hire young girls or women from a variety of places, some fresh from the village without prior experience. Upon being hired, they are expected to cook, wash, clean and care for children, the home and everything in-between. All of this sometimes with next to nothing as pay. Childcare should be the primary concern of your nanny, housekeeping work should always be secondary. How you treat your nanny with respect to their workload can make a big difference.

The right kind of nanny can fill in for you when necessary, can attend school functions if you are unable to and perhaps even film them for you or take pictures, take children to games and run errands. You have to be very clear about all these things with the nanny from the first day.

Appreciate your Nanny

Many nannies say that there are various ways by which employers can make them feel appreciated for their work, at the same time there are many ways that show that the employer is just taking advantage of a nanny’s services. Childcare is something more than simply sitting around the house throughout the day.

Have you ever thanked her for getting the children to the extracurricular class safely and on time or just showing appreciation as a partner in raising your children? Apart from the pay, if you appreciate her services, she would be very happy. Part of showing appreciation for her work is to allow her to have her personal time.

Your children are also learning from how you treat your nanny, let them see you being kind and treating her with respect. Click To Tweet

Not being treated well

It can be shocking to hear what some nannies go through in the hands of employers. If you feel you constantly need to scold and punish your nanny, then perhaps you need to let her go. It is never acceptable to be physically abusive to your nanny, to put them under a no food punishment, to make them sleep in non-conducive environments such as on the floor and make them close unreasonably late.

Above all this you must require your children to be respectful of them, if your children see you being rude to their nanny, talking down to her it will be harder for them to respect the nanny as well. Remember these people spend a lot of time, if not more time than you, with your children and in your home. If they feel mistreated they are going to take it out on someone, most likely your innocent children.

Religious Preferences not being Respected

If you are a Christian family who has hired a Muslim nanny you need to allow her the time she needs to practice her religion. Tolerance is important, if she requires time to pray five times a day, you need to be able to accommodate this. Likewise, you could be of the same religion but she has a specific church she would like to attend instead of yours. You should be able to treat her with understanding. You have to be tolerant and these are things to discuss upfront in the interviewing process. If it is important for your nanny to go to your place of worship with you, then discuss this upfront.

Allow Time Off

Realize that being a nanny is a job and a tasking one at that. Be sure you allow your nanny to have time off. Having time off allows them to relax, recharge and have time to themselves. Agree on the amount of time off including the frequency, and length of time. Do not disrespect her personal time, yes your nanny is required to have her personal time.

You must agree on time-off and stick to it. No matter how well you treat her or how much she loves your children; she needs her time for herself. If you need to ask her to care for the children occasionally during her time make sure she is notified properly, but this shouldn’t happen all the time.

Specify Rules

Agree on the rules upfront and take the time to go over them patiently and repeatedly especially initially. You are a new family to her and even if she has done the job before every home is different. In addition, your children will be different from the ones she took care of before. Confirm everything, it is better to go over even what you consider as minute details. What can the children eat, when can they eat, how is the nanny allowed to correct your children, what can they watch on television etc. How you treat your nanny at the onset when it comes to rules and expectations will make it an easier relationship.

Specify rules that also relate to their living in your home, are they allowed to eat the same food? Can they use their cell phones during the workday? Can they receive visitors in the house and more? What level of cleanliness do you require? Be specific on everything; if they can read then give them a written job description.


Agree and be clear on what the pay is and pay on time. If you have agreed on a timeframe for an increase in salary stick to it. In the case that they have not done their part and lived up to your expectations (clearly defined) then you can discuss this, but this is not a reason to withhold their pay.


You need to determine the level of literacy that you require for your Nanny. You must weigh the pros and cons and decide on what works best for your family. If you have young children and a Nanny who cannot read, realize that you are exposing your children to some dangers.

For example, you do not want your Nanny dispensing the wrong medicine or dosage. Neither do you want her using carwash to wash the plates because she couldn’t read the label?  If it is important for you to have a nanny who is able to complement your children’s learning in school; then look for that during the interview stage. Not every nanny can help with homework for example and it would be unfair to expect they can.


Just as you now and then get ill, your nanny can become ill and require medical attention. Do be considerate and get her to see the doctor or go to the hospital if she requires it. You could also opt for a Health Insurance policy, which will save on out of pocket costs. How you treat your nanny when it comes to her health and well-being will directly impact your children.

Remember she is caring for your children and must be healthy and safe to do so properly. [Read: Health Checks for your Nanny]

Are there some other tips you can share?

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