Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | The truth about Modern Motherhood
The truth about modern motherhood is that it is demanding. Do you know that Motherhood is equivalent to 2.5 fulltime jobs? We firmly believe that we all need hacks to do all the things we need to do in today’s world.
How do you get everything done? Here are some of our LagosMums Hacks that can help you as a working mum, mum with a side hustle, mumpreneur and everything in between.
Realisation Number One
As a Mum you have children you are taking care of, praying for and thinking about. If you have young children then you are dealing with much more demands. If your children are older, they can take care of themselves a bit more and probably the demands on you are a bit less. Or perhaps, your children are older and independent and have probably moved out of the house. Either way, there are ways that your “motherhood” is still needed.
Imagine if you have two full-time jobs and a part-time job! How would you cope? You would struggle to do well in any of them because; you would most likely drop some of the balls. Modern motherhood means that you are busier, but this does not mean that you have more time than everyone else. We all have to make the 24 hours work for us because that is what we have. The question really is how can you be more productive? the only way to be more productive is by being intentional.
My first and most important duty is my role as a mother. In addition to this, I also have to balance my prayer time, grow my business, spend time with my spouse, nurture friendships, spend time networking, exercise, prioritize self-care, have a beauty regime, take care of the home etc. Phew! How do I do it all? Number one is that I have learnt and am learning to say No when I have to, to get rid of guilt and among my many hacks, I use technology a lot to achieve all of my goals.
You are not a superhero – LagosMums Hack #1
You are not a superhero! Accept this. You cannot do all things by yourself; neither were you ever meant to be a superhero. A superhero is meant to solve all problems, do all things and have all the answers. This pressure on a mere human is not realistic and sets you up for failure. In reality, you can do somethings very well, and others you might be just okay at. Learn to prioritize and be able to say Yes to what you really want to, say No when necessary so you can pace yourself.
A support system is a must-have – LagosMums Hack #2
We have agreed that you are not a superhero, but there are a lot of things to get done and we only have a limited number of hours to get it done. So something needs to give sometimes. You need to have a support system. A support system means people that help you get things done and are there for you. This could include your spouse, neighbour, friend, mother, or domestic staff. The point is that you should be comfortable asking for help as you need it and be there for others as well.
Work on being more productive – LagosMums Hack #3
Modern motherhood comes with being very busy, and to try and balance it all you need to be more productive. So while you are at the office you need to focus on getting your work done as effectively as possible and when you are at home, you need to be fully present. Doing the right thing at the wrong time leads to stress and guilt. Set priorities, use lists, get through tough things earlier in the day when your energy level is high.
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Visualise what you want for your children and family – LagosMums Hack #4
This I recommend that everyone does, visualise the adults you are raising. Focus more on their character rather than their roles. So do not have the picture of your child being a lawyer when he or she might want to be a producer. Rather focus on traits such as God-fearing, responsible, kind, problem solver etc. When you picture these, you can be intentional in focusing on modeling and raising them with these skills.
I call It a parenting hack because it helps you to stay focused on your goals as a parent today. If you want a God fearing child, you must pray together, read the word together. If you want your child to be a confident adult, it is unlikely to happen by chance.
A successful business or career needs planning – LagosMums Hack #5
Whether you are a career woman or you have your own business, you need to plan for success. This means writing down your goals, having a strategy for your career and business growth. Make sure you have mentors and a network that you can learn from. Spend the right amount of time using digital media to grow your business; this will be faster and more effective than word of mouth alone can ever be. Have you heard the phrase, your network is your net worth? Go for courses, sign up for seminars, challenge yourself so you can grow.
Use technology to help you manage it all – LagosMums Hack #6
Technology can be your friend if you use it properly, I love technology and have several apps that I personally use to get everything I need to get done. Without this help, I will not achieve all the things I need to on a given day. Have you ever heard of the term mummy brain? Well, it is a real thing, there is so much to do that we tend to forget so much.
There are some apps I absolutely use every day that help me stay on track. Google Keep, helps me keep all my notes and thoughts in one place. Any.Do is like my virtual assistant; literally, anything I need to do is shared in this App and so I can be sure I will follow up later. I also use Google Calendar to keep all my appointments. I have learnt that if I do not calendarize it I will forget. All the school dates? I put it in the calendar at the beginning of the term. All the doctor’s appointments and meetings are added straight into the calendar as I set them up.
The truth about modern motherhood is that we are raising children in the digital age, we are busier than ever before. However, at the same time, there is so much that we can do to manage all the demands. What are some of your hacks? How do you balance modern motherhood?