Teacher-student relationship: How close is too close?
There’s a common adage that goes – No mum should sleep with her two eyes closed! But with the stories going around these days, I sometimes wonder if mothers should even sleep at all.
I’ll just go straight to the point; mums, when it comes to your children’s relationship with their teachers, where do you draw the line? Do you even think there should even be a line?
With the increasing cases of teachers displaying inappropriate behavior towards students, there’s need for greater awareness. By ‘inappropriate’ I mean actions ranging from pecking, tickling, hugging to outright sexual advances or using phrases such as “ You are beautiful/ handsome“, “I love you” or even “ Do you love me?”
So back to the question I earlier asked, where should the line be drawn?
We are all different so I expect that responses will vary. However, one thing I believe every mother will agree on is that we don’t enrol our children in schools expecting them to be open to situations that will threaten their physical, psychological and emotional security in any way.
That kids learn better when they have a good rapport with their teachers is a fact. Classes where there is mutual respect and where learning is fun yet engaging in a positive way helps children maximise their potential and results in a more fulfilling experience for teachers – So it’s a win win situation.
But like everything in life, boundaries need to be established and respected. Some schools have laid down rules concerning these issues, other less proactive ones wait until there’s a problem or a scandal before they begin to find a solution towards ‘making sure it doesn’t happen again’.
So how do we protect our kids? Educating them is key. A statement that child abusers often tell their victims is that ‘they are just playing with them’. So, our kids need to know what is appropriate play or touch and what isn’t.
Encourage them to open up if anything that makes them uncomfortable is happening at school or anywhere else. For instance, an adult ( class teacher, other members of staff or even seniors) who encourages them to keep secrets from their parents, asks deeply personal questions and/ or touches their private parts. Keep the communication line open between you and your kids, being mindful of not condemning or judging. Our kids need the assurance that we believe in them. (Ways to teach your cold how to prevent sexual abuse)
As much as you possibly can, avoid situations where your child is alone with an adult. It’s also necessary to get knowledge about the school’s policy or code of ethics. If such is non- existent, It’s time to push for it.
Keeping kids safe may sometimes feel overwhelming because we can’t be with them every second of the day even if we wanted. However, whatever steps we take for their safety will surely go a long way.
Author: Oris Morolani is a writer, etiquette teacher and founder of The Kings Daughters Nigeria, a character development platform for young girls and teens.
